Lydiesism on Beauty

From the time Lydie was 2 she has had an obsession with all things trendy/girly. Nail art, hair styles, fashion design, makeup, you name it, Lydia watches tutorials and practices at home in the mirror. She changes clothes minimum 3x a day. She's not even 9! This week I've noticed her mind has been very style and beauty oriented so may I present a week of Lydieism's on appearance.

On Makeup

Lex: Hey Lydia, you don't have to play in makeup. You're beautiful without it.

Lydia: I know that Lex. I'm not playing in makeup to make me beautiful, I'm doing it because it's fun. I know I'm beautiful.

I'm not even mad about this one. Makeup is fun and confidence is awesomesauce. 

On Flattering Clothing

Lydia: I really wish our volleyball uniforms weren't orange. Orange doesn't compliment my skin tone very well. I have olive undertones.

Poor Lydia is an autumn. 

On Coordinating Clothing

Lydia: Hey Mom, I broke my shoes at school can you bring me another pair? If you bring the purple Nike's would you grab the blue and pink hoodie from the closet. They won't match what I'm wearing right now. If you bring the blue Vans just grab the blue and white chevron bow from the bow board and if...

Me: STAHP! I'll bring you what I can. Go back to class.

Lydia: Please don't humiliate me.

That's it. She's going barefoot all day. 

On Stretch Marks

Lydia: Hey Mommy, why is your belly so wrinkled? Oh wait, pregnancy right?

Yes darling, they're your fault. Accept some responsibility

I don't know how to raise this monster.

Lexism on Love

My son is very kind and compassionate. He loves all his friends and treats them well. This includes a cute little ginger girl who has decided Lex is, and I quote, "Her man". Yep. That's a thing. In their classroom they have a mail center where students can write each other notes. Imagine my surprise when on the second day of school our little Red-head had already sent Lex a love note.

I love lexxy! Note they're both adorably ginger.

 Aww. How sweet. Right? Apparently not. As of yesterday Lex received a second letter this time, not an expression of love but of sadness born of a broken heart. You see our little ginger girl is dismayed and second guessing Lex's affections. She fears that his heart is not hers but belongs to another. Am I being a bit dramatic? Read it for yourself. 

Translation: I love you and you love me too but only as a friend. I love you not as a friend .
You are in love not with me but with Mady.

 Mady is pictured with a happy heart while our Ginger-girl is in the back with a broken heart and Lex is marked through. It's terrifying. Now you're up to speed on the situation and can truly appreciate the following -isms: 

Lex: I don't love Mady! I don't love anybody! Not like a girlfriend.

Lydia: You just can't help it you're so handsome. All the girls want you you wittle cutie. I don't see it but whatever.

Lex: I have to respond. Mom, where is some notebook paper. I'll have to write her a letter and draw her a picture so we can all just be friends.

This obviously ended with Lydia Laughing hysterically and Lex stressing about his love triangle he didn't sign up for. 

To be fair, who could resist this fine specimen of masculinity? Eat your heart out ladies.

Lydieism on intelligence

The day I learned I was going to have a baby I began a list of hopes and dreams. I wanted her to be kind, beautiful, and intelligent. I got all those things but now I know I probably should have put a little less emphasis on the intelligence as it's irritating to raise a child fully confident that she is always right. Her smarts have paid off though and I couldn't be more proud of the grades she brings home. Since she was very young she has used large words that often shock me and had the ambition to go to a very specific college. She's my little Rory Gilmore. Occasionally, she ruins all our fun with her Vulcan style thought process, below are a few of those instances from the past year.

January 2015

Lydia:  I had to tell two of my friends I didn't need their negativity in my life...but now I feel bad. Darn me and my tender heart.

Their negativity. Lord, bless her and her "tender" little heart. 

March 2015

Lydia: I highly doubt the Irish people are wearing green and pinching each other, I'm not playing that game.

I just wanted her to wear the cute shamrock clothing I purchased specifically for this day. Notice she didn't, but she appeased me by wearing the button until she got to school and promptly removed it. Lydie ain't 'bout that life. 

May 2015

Lydia: I grabbed extra homework from the substitute teacher Friday so I can get ahead on our day off. I probably won't get into Harvard but I should be good for Meredith.

July 2015

Lydia: C'mon Netflix, why are you being so inflexible? I just really want to watch season 5 of my little ponies...now.

She's far too accustomed to instant gratification.

September 2015

Lydia: Lex is really getting on my nerves. It's his fault, I'm not being hypersensitive.

WHO CREATED THIS MONSTER! Oh yeah, I did. It was me. My bad, ya'll. 

Lydieism/Lexism on sibling love

Look at the little monsters. They seem so sweet, then they open their rotten little mouths and ruin the facade. Honestly, they are great kids and they get along very well but being the sarcastic big-mouthed cuties that they are, occasionally things go south. Below, I've once again compiled a few examples of their more colorful exchanges. What is sibling love without a few annoying comments and unnecessary lies, am I right?

July 2012

Lex: Hey Mommy, we're pals right?

Me: Yes baby, we're pals.

Lex: Lydia isn't a pal, she has to go to jail.

No darling, we don't arrest our sister just because she isn't our pal. Life lessons, man. 

September 2012

Lydia:  Just around the river bend!
Lex: Please stop
Lydia: Just around the river bend!
Lex: Please Lydia, stop.
Lydia: I look once mo...
Lex: SAVAGES! SAVAGES! I WONDER IF THEY EVEN BWEEEED!

Lydia promptly concluded her song and stared out the window instead.

June 2013

Lex: Our exit is number 79.

Lydia: How do you know that?

Lex: Because I'm alive, I'm a human, I have eyes...I have fast eyes, Lydia.

Sarcasm. Their favorite form of communication.

February 2014

Lex: *singing loudly* I have to sound loud because I'm a cowboy *points to cowboy hat*
Lydia: Yeeeeaaaaah...that's not a thing, Lex.

Lex: How would you know, you don't have the hat.

Lydia rolled her eyes and left without saying a word. Lex interpreted that as a win. 

March 2014

Lydia: Lex, buddy, you're adopted...from Russia. 
Lex-: No way! Then how do I speak English?!
Lydia: We taught you *hugs Lex and whispers* and we're so glad to have you.

He did bite her Popsicle in half so I don't think he was taking her seriously.

November 2014

Lydia: I'm done. no more Wild Kratts, It's a baby show!

Lex: I wouldn't expect you to understand.

December 2014

Lydia: Can I have a Phoenix?

Lex: NO FAIR! If she get's a Phoenix I want a griffin!

Sure kids, let's argue about our fictional pets. Makes perfect sense. 

July 2015

Lydia: Hey Lex, better be careful. You see those birds? They're meat eating birds. You saw Jurassic World, you know what could happen.

This is exactly how they looked when she told her fib. It took roughly 20 minutes to assuage his fears. We've yet to return to the aviary. 

September 2015

Lex: Lydia, do you think I'm a dumbo? 

Lydia: Sure

Lex: Lydia! That's mean! I didn't think you'd say that. I thought you'd say nothing! 

Lydia: Do you even know me?

Lex: Apparently not but then again, I'm a dumbo.

He's still holding a grudge and periodically feigns ignorance based on his status as "a dumbo". She will never live this one down.

Lexism's on...himself.

My handsome little man has some pretty high opinions of himself. I've compiled a few to get us started.

July 2011

Lex: Hey Mom, check my shoes. I look great.

To be fair he was the most adorable 3 year old. 

October 2012

Lex: I got myself a costume so I could be awesome...more awesome. 

December 2013

Lex: I like doing man stuff like, hammering, shoveling, and pushing my sister in the toilet. 

October 2014

Lex: Oh yeah, look at these muscles. I gotta keep working out and being strong. I look so good.

He was talking to himself...in the mirror. 

February 2015

Lex: Karlee really does like me. She probably really wants to date me but she's hiding it as a secret in her heart. She's into me though, I know it. 

He's either right or a stalker, too early to tell. 

Lydieism's on My parenting skills

Below I've compiled some of Lydia's finest -isms on my choices as a parent. Being the opinionated monster that she is, there was no shortage of options for this post. I've raised a child who truly believes she could have raised herself better. I'm not sure if I disagree.

September 2010, 

Lydia:Mommy, you are making me feel annoyed

Me: Get used to it.

Lydia: See, that is how you make me feel annoyed

Me: Go to bed, Lyd.

Lydia: EXACTLY!

She was 4, 4 years old people.

July 2011

Lydia: What does inside-out mean

Me: It means that which is meant to be inside is outside by mistake

Lydia: Nope, you're wrong.

March 2012

Lydia: Hi Momma, You know where I've been?

Me: No baby, where?

Lydia: In my room serving a punishment, I did it myself because I touched that thing you told me not to. So don't worry about getting me in trouble. Aren't you proud of me? Now you don't have to worry about punishing me yourself.

Yes, that's exactly how it works.

July 2012

Lydia: Why does everything you watch always say BBC?

Me: Because they make better programming.

Lydia: You just wish you talked like them.

 Her view of me, though not incorrect, is somehow offensive.

January 2014 

Me: Hey Lyd, I laid clothes out for you because we over slept today.

Lydia: I had to change the jeans and shoes, but you tried

Such a patronizing child.

June 2015:

Lydia: We need to have an honest discussion about your bad habit of dancing while driving. You're a bad dancer and you have a habit of doing it anyway.

 Though her faith in my parenting abilities is low, Somehow I think she realizes my value as a mother.