Lexism/Lydieism on Christmas Music

This year, now that Lydia and Lex are a bit older, the children are hearing the lyrics of they're favorite Christmas songs with a new understanding. It's been an absolute pleasure listening to their insights and when I say pleasure I mean, it's been hilarious. 

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause:

Lydia- OH. MY. GOODNESS! She's cheating on her husband with Santa! This is terrible and inappropriate! This isn't Christmasy at all! 

We Wish You a Merry Christmas:

Lex- These people are greedy and selfish. I don't like this song anymore. 

Santa Baby:

Lydia- Gees! She's flirting with Santa to get stuff! 

Do They Know It's Christmas:

Both- Turn this one off! 

Lydia- It's condescending.  

So what have we learned here? 

1. Santa is a player. 

2. Christmas time is the season for giving not demanding a really gross bread pudding. 

2. Don't tell Lydia what to do or how to feel. She'll rebel. 

Lydieism on cutlery

Lex was discussing Lydia's eating habits with great disgust. Please note that Lex is gross so if he finds the way Lydia eats to be disturbing, it certainly must be. This was their exchange:

Lex- Lydia, you totally eat like a pig. Who uses their hands instead of a fork?

Lydia- I simply do not find the fork to be necessary. Using your hands is quicker and you can just wipe them with a napkin. It makes more sense.

Lex- That is absolutely disgusting.

Lydia- I don't have to explain myself to you, you can be wrong.

Please, Lord help me make it through their youth and get them safely and sanely to adulthood. Also, let me not loose my cool and go full mommy dearest on their sweet, yet annoying behinds.

Lexism on Love

My son is very kind and compassionate. He loves all his friends and treats them well. This includes a cute little ginger girl who has decided Lex is, and I quote, "Her man". Yep. That's a thing. In their classroom they have a mail center where students can write each other notes. Imagine my surprise when on the second day of school our little Red-head had already sent Lex a love note.

I love lexxy! Note they're both adorably ginger.

 Aww. How sweet. Right? Apparently not. As of yesterday Lex received a second letter this time, not an expression of love but of sadness born of a broken heart. You see our little ginger girl is dismayed and second guessing Lex's affections. She fears that his heart is not hers but belongs to another. Am I being a bit dramatic? Read it for yourself. 

Translation: I love you and you love me too but only as a friend. I love you not as a friend .
You are in love not with me but with Mady.

 Mady is pictured with a happy heart while our Ginger-girl is in the back with a broken heart and Lex is marked through. It's terrifying. Now you're up to speed on the situation and can truly appreciate the following -isms: 

Lex: I don't love Mady! I don't love anybody! Not like a girlfriend.

Lydia: You just can't help it you're so handsome. All the girls want you you wittle cutie. I don't see it but whatever.

Lex: I have to respond. Mom, where is some notebook paper. I'll have to write her a letter and draw her a picture so we can all just be friends.

This obviously ended with Lydia Laughing hysterically and Lex stressing about his love triangle he didn't sign up for. 

To be fair, who could resist this fine specimen of masculinity? Eat your heart out ladies.

Lydieism/Lexism on sibling love

Look at the little monsters. They seem so sweet, then they open their rotten little mouths and ruin the facade. Honestly, they are great kids and they get along very well but being the sarcastic big-mouthed cuties that they are, occasionally things go south. Below, I've once again compiled a few examples of their more colorful exchanges. What is sibling love without a few annoying comments and unnecessary lies, am I right?

July 2012

Lex: Hey Mommy, we're pals right?

Me: Yes baby, we're pals.

Lex: Lydia isn't a pal, she has to go to jail.

No darling, we don't arrest our sister just because she isn't our pal. Life lessons, man. 

September 2012

Lydia:  Just around the river bend!
Lex: Please stop
Lydia: Just around the river bend!
Lex: Please Lydia, stop.
Lydia: I look once mo...
Lex: SAVAGES! SAVAGES! I WONDER IF THEY EVEN BWEEEED!

Lydia promptly concluded her song and stared out the window instead.

June 2013

Lex: Our exit is number 79.

Lydia: How do you know that?

Lex: Because I'm alive, I'm a human, I have eyes...I have fast eyes, Lydia.

Sarcasm. Their favorite form of communication.

February 2014

Lex: *singing loudly* I have to sound loud because I'm a cowboy *points to cowboy hat*
Lydia: Yeeeeaaaaah...that's not a thing, Lex.

Lex: How would you know, you don't have the hat.

Lydia rolled her eyes and left without saying a word. Lex interpreted that as a win. 

March 2014

Lydia: Lex, buddy, you're adopted...from Russia. 
Lex-: No way! Then how do I speak English?!
Lydia: We taught you *hugs Lex and whispers* and we're so glad to have you.

He did bite her Popsicle in half so I don't think he was taking her seriously.

November 2014

Lydia: I'm done. no more Wild Kratts, It's a baby show!

Lex: I wouldn't expect you to understand.

December 2014

Lydia: Can I have a Phoenix?

Lex: NO FAIR! If she get's a Phoenix I want a griffin!

Sure kids, let's argue about our fictional pets. Makes perfect sense. 

July 2015

Lydia: Hey Lex, better be careful. You see those birds? They're meat eating birds. You saw Jurassic World, you know what could happen.

This is exactly how they looked when she told her fib. It took roughly 20 minutes to assuage his fears. We've yet to return to the aviary. 

September 2015

Lex: Lydia, do you think I'm a dumbo? 

Lydia: Sure

Lex: Lydia! That's mean! I didn't think you'd say that. I thought you'd say nothing! 

Lydia: Do you even know me?

Lex: Apparently not but then again, I'm a dumbo.

He's still holding a grudge and periodically feigns ignorance based on his status as "a dumbo". She will never live this one down.

Lexism's on...himself.

My handsome little man has some pretty high opinions of himself. I've compiled a few to get us started.

July 2011

Lex: Hey Mom, check my shoes. I look great.

To be fair he was the most adorable 3 year old. 

October 2012

Lex: I got myself a costume so I could be awesome...more awesome. 

December 2013

Lex: I like doing man stuff like, hammering, shoveling, and pushing my sister in the toilet. 

October 2014

Lex: Oh yeah, look at these muscles. I gotta keep working out and being strong. I look so good.

He was talking to himself...in the mirror. 

February 2015

Lex: Karlee really does like me. She probably really wants to date me but she's hiding it as a secret in her heart. She's into me though, I know it. 

He's either right or a stalker, too early to tell.