Lexism/Lydieism on Christmas Music

This year, now that Lydia and Lex are a bit older, the children are hearing the lyrics of they're favorite Christmas songs with a new understanding. It's been an absolute pleasure listening to their insights and when I say pleasure I mean, it's been hilarious. 

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause:

Lydia- OH. MY. GOODNESS! She's cheating on her husband with Santa! This is terrible and inappropriate! This isn't Christmasy at all! 

We Wish You a Merry Christmas:

Lex- These people are greedy and selfish. I don't like this song anymore. 

Santa Baby:

Lydia- Gees! She's flirting with Santa to get stuff! 

Do They Know It's Christmas:

Both- Turn this one off! 

Lydia- It's condescending.  

So what have we learned here? 

1. Santa is a player. 

2. Christmas time is the season for giving not demanding a really gross bread pudding. 

2. Don't tell Lydia what to do or how to feel. She'll rebel. 

Lydieism on cutlery

Lex was discussing Lydia's eating habits with great disgust. Please note that Lex is gross so if he finds the way Lydia eats to be disturbing, it certainly must be. This was their exchange:

Lex- Lydia, you totally eat like a pig. Who uses their hands instead of a fork?

Lydia- I simply do not find the fork to be necessary. Using your hands is quicker and you can just wipe them with a napkin. It makes more sense.

Lex- That is absolutely disgusting.

Lydia- I don't have to explain myself to you, you can be wrong.

Please, Lord help me make it through their youth and get them safely and sanely to adulthood. Also, let me not loose my cool and go full mommy dearest on their sweet, yet annoying behinds.